weighing myself at a minimum of 5 times a day... up a kg down 1/2 kg... i am going insane... top this off with deciding that the time is right ot try and come off lexapro and my days have been "filled with joy".... first thing in the morning i weigh 37kg.... by lunch i am 39kg.... then by the time i am ready for bed i am 38kg.... f*&#%^G scales.... if i had the money i would buy some that read accurate.... what does it matter anyway hey... it doesn't really matter what they say to me...i still always and forever will feel...look ..be... FAT!.....
anyways....bakc to the point of this post....LEXAPRO.... what a dog to withdraw from.... i tried for the past two months...doing as they all say..halving the dose week by week etc.... well when it came time for me to finally have my last pill.... hmmm... this past week has been hell... torture... for the first ime in a long time i have actually come to the point of staring at my wrists and knowing wha i wanted to do..... my husband walked in at the wrong time... right time maybe... i don't know... i had my plans...and he foiled them..... so alas, back to the dr i went and now i am back on the pills... don't want to spend th erest of my life on anti depressants... i want to have another child and i can't be pregnant on these pills... and after my last pregnancy i choose not to go through it on zoloft... it was ok but a waste of time for my depression/ed.... just more chemicals for my poor baby to injest and develop on...didn't really do anything for the depression... or hte eating disorder for that matter.... well i apologise for the incoherent ramble that has gone on in this post... i am withdrawing/starting lexapro and i am on a rollercoaster ride... i have thanked my huusband for being so supportive and now i just have to ride the wave..... here's hoping my wrists don't look so appealing tonight and that my weight hasn't gone up in the morning.....
2 comments:
probably your scale is working the right way - the weight isn´t the same all the time. For instance, for athletics it is normal, when they lose or gain until 3 kg in a day - basicly on water of course, so it doesn´t really affect anything except the numbers on scale. Also, when you eat 0,5 kg of chocolate, you will weight 0,5 kg more that day - cause the calories and other stuff will work in at least 3-4 days (for some, with slower metabolism even a week), it won´t show anything on the same or next day, except the weight of stuff you´ve been eating.
I thought that if you´re so into weight you have to know these things???
numbers...... i don't know what number i would be happy with.. none really...yes i know these things.. but my head is screwed... it is so confused,.. so fat and so jsut so so so fat.... it doesnt' matter what the scales say.. or how many days have passed... i am still and always will be too fat.
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